Bonus Post - What I Learned in the Hospital. (from cable)

So, we don't have cable at home. We just watch broadcast tv, partly to save money, but mostly because I'm kind of addicted to tv. Being in the hospital with a kiddo who was pretty much 100% healthy and really sleepy led to quite a bit of tv time for me. So here are things I learned during the past week.

1. Having Disney Channel East and Disney Channel West means that you can watch several hours of preschool programming, then re-watch it all again. Imagination Movers, Mickey Mouse Club House and Handy Manny, twice each day. But only if he manages to stay awake...

2. There are enough women in America who give birth without being pregnant that there's a series about it.

2a. I want something in my life to be dramatically re-enacted, because, based on what I saw, I'd look like Jennifer Anniston or Natalie Portman in the re-enactment! Not knowing you're pregnant might be much more believable in real life where the woman is plus sized, but much more fun to watch when the person is magically half their weight and width.

3. Advertising works. I'm not sure I'd have chosen to watch a show about polygamy on Monday, but by Sunday, after countless ads viewed, there was no way I was going to miss Sister Wives. (Ok, moment of Honesty, I totally would have watched it on Monday. The advertising did make sure I knew exactly when it was in, though!)

3a. Sister Wives is strangely addicting. In a train wreck sort of way. Sure, a 3 wife family has been working smoothly, so why not find a 4th wife? How hard could it be? (Not finding the wife, that part, apparently, wasn't hard at all.)

4. If your wedding dress budget is $3,000, never try on the $6,000 dress, because you will love it and no other dress will make you happy. This is true, it happens every time. ("Say Yes to the Dress" and "Say Yes to the Dress:Atlanta")

5. When going to the bridal shop with your 3 future "sister wives" it is best to call them your "advisors" so as to not let anyone in on your real situation.

6. There's a lot of drama coming between Jr. And Sr. This season on Orange County Choppers.

7. The Wizards of Waverly Place is totally ripping off Twilight.

8. Camp Rock loses the Final Jam: Camp Wars contest to Camp Star, but it's ok, because Camp Rock is so much fun that all the kids are going to come back next year anyway.

9. Never crush on a co-worker tattoo artist and fight about him with another crushing co-worker tattoo artist. You'll just end up looking dumb, and all that tension could cost you your job. And he doesn't like you like that anyway.

10. Something always goes wrong when you flip a house.

11. There is a show (Four Weddings) where 4 brides each attend each others' wedding and score them. The winner gets a cool honeymoon. Because your special day celebrating the lifelong commitment you're making really should be a contest, too. Absolutely. (p.s. The secret to winning is to spend a lot of money on your wedding. Cause, really, having enough money to put a down payment on a house is totally overrated.)

12. David still laughs at Sponge Bob Square Pants