Up and Down Day

This morning I had such an "ah-ha" moment. I've really been struggling with the idea that we may not foster again, for a while at least, while we devote our time and attention to the kids we already have. I've struggled with this, because *my* plan included me always having a baby to love on. :)

This morning H was actually cuddly, which is pretty unusual. Even more unusual, she saw Z sitting by himself and motioned him over. As I sat with the two of them on my lap, I realized that when they were 16 and 17, we wouldn't really be able to do this anymore. It really hit me that I have my whole life ahead of me, and I'm just really in a hurry to have it all now.

G wandered in, and H motioned her over, too, so here we are, all snuggled together happily on the couch. I think this picture will forever be a reminder to me to be patient!

So now I'll take a deep breath. We had therapy today, and I forgot to take off H's ADHD sticker, so she's wound, wound, wound up, and full of big feelings. I've been trying to settle her to sleep since 8:30, and it's after 10:30 now. :( It's been another evening with her lashing out against me, and I feel battle-sore. T stepped in giving me a break. I changed loads of laundry, and posted this quick. I think I've got to give up trying to understand what God is doing. But just like H wants to hold it all to herself and bottle it up and control it, I have such a hard time releasing things to God. Especially releasing my kids, especially H. Deep thoughts tonight.

Vacation

Here is my try at posting a picture. We recently took a 2 week vacation. We spent one day and two nights in Chicago.

Highlights included the Field Museum and Shedd Aquarium, as well as successful dining experiences at a few different restaurants! Especially impressive was that we all enjoyed the Thai restaurant, even though it was the first time for any of the kids to eat Thai, and they did NOT serve chicken nuggets! :)

Lowlights were 3 significant PTSD episodes for H. :( Once we were even approached by a security guard concerned to see my dragging H out of the museum! That had my heart racing, but we did ok, and chasing seagulls on the museum lawn helped H to calm down.

This picture shows us "shunken" to the size of an ant in an underground portion of the museum. I am leaning my hand on a worm. G really thought she WAS shrunk, and was uncomfortable until I explained it to her. H was freaked out by the bugs, but still enjoyed herself, holding firmly to an adult's hand! J was pleasantly surprised that he enjoyed it, too!