I had an interesting conversation with H in the van this weekend. H and I seem to have a lot of meaningful talks in vehicles. She asked me how long she’d have to continue to see her therapist. (We go each week for an hour.) I explained that we’d go for a long time. Then I was inspired to explain why. To make a long story short, I explained was “trauma” was. I think I actually did a decent job of it, too. And I explained that after a trauma, our minds and bodies can trick us into feeling scared, even when everything is ok. I decided to use an example to make my point.
C: So, even though you know that Daddy and I would never hurt you, sometimes you used to get very scared at bedtime.
H: Oh, I don’t think you’ll hurt me at bedtime, I think about how you’ll hurt me right now, in the van.
C: But you know that Daddy and I don’t hurt kids. We keep you safe.
H: But you might hurt me. You could hurt me right now.
The conversation went on for a little longer, because I just couldn’t believe she meant what it sounded like. But she did. She did mean it. She really doesn’t feel safe. She really thinks, any minute, despite almost 3 years of relative calm and overall safety… she still thinks that any minute it could all change and we’ll hurt her.
I just continue to pray. I don’t know what else to do.
