It's Finished!!!!

Remember when I started this one? (It was back in January - you can see progress pictures in January and February 2008.) Well, I'm finally declaring it truly done. I obviously had some problems counting stitches and it was starting to ruffle a bit. I didn't really see my pattern through to the end, but I may try it again someday in a more friendly yarn. :) I like the way it turned out, though!

Quick adoption update - the social worker visited for our home study update. She's hoping to have that report turned in so that they can hold a "best interests" meeting before the end of year. This is where a team of people look at our home study and David's file and decide if they think we are the best adoptive family for David. We are one more step closer!!

Craft update - I have material to make the canopies for the girls' doll beds. I have the beads to string on Gladys'. I just have to want to sit down and do it! Random crochet projects keep calling my name!

Masterwork: The Snowman Hat and Adoption Update

I think this is my masterwork to date. :) I made a winter hat for David that looks like... a snowman wearing a hat. He wore it on the walk to school on Monday and to and from Jazzercise and got tons of attention. It turned out really well!

Also, just a quick adoption update... we turned in physicals for T and I and for Z, H, and G. T and I were fingerprinted and already got clearance for that. Now the next steps are:

• social worker updates homestudy we used for H's adoption last year
• subsidy negotiation with the state
• social worker submits our adoption packet to the state
• the state approves the adoption
• a court date is set
• adoption in court

I'm guessing we'll be done by June. The stuff that's left isn't hard at all. It could probably be done in a week per step (except for scheduling the court date, that can take a couple months). However, everyone involved is very busy, so it wouldn't surprise me if it stretches out to June. I'll keep you posted.

The Bed Project

So, the girls are getting dolls for Christmas. G picked out a ridiculously expensive bed that she really, really liked from the catalog. (Just $119, plus shipping and handling.) Yikes.

It is cute, though. So I did a little research and found this beauty at Walmart.com:

And it was $29.99 with free shipping if I was willing to pick it up at my neighborhood Walmart. (I was!). So I got two, one for H and one for G. Knowing I was going to trick them out to suit the girls' tastes.

Here is a picture of one of the beds put together, without the provided bedding. I also left off the arch that goes on the on the top of the bed.

I went to the craft store today and bought some beads for G's bed. I chose blue, red, and green, since that will match the blanket my mom is making. H's doll blanket will be more in the pinks and pastels, so I think I'm going to use the canopy and draping they provided, but I've got some really cute pink and white ribbon I could glue gun onto the side of the bed, and I think I'll add additional sliding curtains for the sides of the bed. I'm looking forward to this project that will be worked during the day while the kids are at school. :) I'm also finishing up some crochet projects, too, as well as trying to work in some Webkinz crochet requests. G got a new eagle. And informed me that it's a boy. So that's kind of a challenge to my creativity. :)

Happy Halloween!

H, our bride (for the 2nd or 3rd year in a row!); G, our cat (she was a gymnast at school, but changed her mind by supper); Z is a Ranger's Apprentice, a character from a series of books he's been reading. (Oh, and I made the ranger's cloak on 10/30 out of an old sheet - thankfully we had one in oak leaf green, like the rangers wear.)
Here's D! This picture wasn't actually taken on Halloween, but he wore this outfit a lot in October!

I've been enjoying my normal October activities - Christmas shopping. I like to have it all done before Thanksgiving, so I don't have to be in then stores during shopping season any more than I have to! I'm doing pretty good, and should meet my goal. :)

T travelled twice in the past 2 weeks, and I am SO glad that's over and we don't have any more trips scheduled in the near future. Even with all the kids in school, and even with T's parents here to help, it was exhausting to handle all 4 kids.

Next up... flu shots for the kids. D should have his on Tuesday and the rest a week from Monday. That will be quite an adventure. G has major issues with shots, and Z is nearly as bad, and H has issues with people crying because they are hurt. So it's a pretty messy combo, but I refuse to make 3 separate trips. :) I'll let you know how it goes...

D continues without IV meds. I may hear more about that on Tuesday.

Finally, on the adoption front, we got our fingerprints taken - and now wait 6 weeks to get results back, and we got our physicals done. Our homestudy will be updated, and then we move forward...

Crochet for Webkinz!

I've had quite a break from crocheting, but got the urge a while back and have been doing small projects off and on, mostly webkinz clothes. I finally got some pictures taken and thought I'd share! They are featured below in the order they were created.

First up is a strappy green dress worn by G's Jewel. The skirt is nice and fluttery. I actually made the skirt a while ago - back when I crocheted for H's bigger white teddy bear. Jewel wore just a skirt (which was quite cute on it's own) until I finally attached the dress top that G requested. I think it may have been cuter just as a skirt, but it still turned out well.

Next up is this wonderful blue dress worn by H's Cupcake the panda bear.


The side view shows better how cute it is. I made it with some "Elf Eyelash" Hobby Lobby yarn and that was a nice challenge. (and no, I will not be making anymore items out of elf eyelash - though the white would make a nice trim on a santa hat) It *is* quite soft, though, and wonderfully set off by the two white stripes. I added them when I thought I was done, and they took it from a minidress to a ball gown and much improved it!

Z's koala, whose name I can't recall right now is wearing his fuzzy black sweater with skull emblem. The skull is the only thing I used a pattern for and it didn't turn out that well (maybe I should have acutally followed the pattern? eh.) Thankfully it's a big hit with Z and Claw. Oh! Claw! That's his name. Claw the koala. Hope I got the spelling right. Sorry Claw!

One more note on Claw's sweater - it has a matching fuzzy beanie/skull cap, but it doesn't stay on very well. I may have to put on a strap and change it into a helmet.

Here we have G's 2nd webkinz, Snowy, modeling her birthday dress. I really felt like I made quite a step forward as a designer, taking advantage of the plain-ness of the yarn to show off some intricate stitch work.

This back view shows off the halter tie nicely. It matches the bow detailing on the front of the dress and the nice hair bow as well. G picked out the yarn, which really is a good color for Snowy. The dress was a birthday present to G, and was very well received.

Here we have H's newly earned reward, Cuddly the manatee. I was immediately inspired by Cuddly's natural body shape to go with a mermaid cut gown. The yarn choice was a no-brainer, because if H likes this yarn (which she does) she may as well have it, since I can't imagine anyone else who would! Although, now that it's done, I feel like it would have worked up nicer in a solid colored yarn. The varigated coloring makes it hard to see the flower detail up near Cuddly's head.

While this photo doesn't show Cuddly's face very well, you can nicely see the mermaid shaping with a double ruffle at the bottom. The ruffled detail wonderfully sets off the shape, and also used up nearly all of this *ahem* wonderful yarn. I also like the way the yarn comes together up the front, in a nice inverted v, which adds some unexpected sophistication to the gown.

I'm not sure what's up next. My own elephant, Electrona is without any special occaison wear (or any other clothing for that matter - you know what they say, the cobbler's kids always go with shoes!) But Z also has a lizzard, and a bat, and a couple others, too. I think the bat may be next, as I'm intrigued to work up something boy-ish and able to work around his wings...

Home Again, with a new diagnosis???

Well, we're home again. However, just before D was discharged we were thrown for another loop. They'd run some blood work to test for some wierd and rare immune system issues and one of them came back positive. They were so surprised they ran the test again the day we left, and it was positive again. My initial google research showed some pretty grim findings, but I was able to calm down when I considered that this is something he's had all along, not something new, and he wouldn't necessarily have all the lifethreatening conditions google listed! And on the plus side, now we had a name and treatment plan for the multiple infections he'd had.

And just as that was sinking in, I got another phone call from the doctor, this time saying they were considering that the tests might be showing a false positive, due to the way D's body works with rickets. So, they are not sure now. However, thankfully, they can do a genetic work up and look for specific gene mutations that will tell them whether he has this condition or not. So that's good news, although I think the genetic workup takes a while... So. We wait.

In the mean time, he is tube free while the doctors sort all this out, which means a lot more freedom for D and our family. And we plan to enjoy this time!

AND D is trying to crawl! He gets up on his elbows and knees and rocks and rocks! It's so fun to watch!

All else is well. We're glad to be home!

Hanging in there

We've been busy. We got our answer and it was that D has to stay in the downtown hospital on IV meds. *sigh* He is doing fine, though a little cranky yesterday - we're chalking that up to teething. I think he'll be home on Thursday.


T's parents are in town -T and his dad are at the Nascar race today - and they are going to stay until Wednesday. That will be a great help and let me stay at the hospital each night, I think.


H is sick now, she threw up last night and early this morning. I hope she gets to feeling better soon! Though, I must admit that I enjoy a quiet and cuddlly H!

Extended Stay

So it looks like an extended stay. Unless we can get D's meds changed to oral medication rather than IV. We may know that answer by tomorrow. If he has to stay in for 7-14 days of antibiotic treatment we're trying to see if he could be moved to the hospital closer to our house.

After that, though, they are talking about a month off of IV meds of any kind, including calcium. That will be a welcome break.

It's so hard to hear them even talk about putting in a central line. They can't say exactly what is causing the infections, but they can say that he'll move slowly but surely downhill without his calcium treatments. So, even if they can't give us a source of the infections... we may have to put another port in! I wish I had some guidance. I feel like Tony and I are the only ones saying, "Wait, Stop, Think".

It's like when I play euchre with really good players who count cards, and they reach some point in the game in just throw their cards in, because they know how the last trick or two will go. I always make them play it out so I understand. I feel like I'm having to speak up the doctors and say, wait, I can't see all your cards, explain to me...

Hospital Again!

D had a low fever on Friday morning, it was gone in the afternoon, but then spiked up to 103.9 at 6pm. (His hickman site was looking icky, too) :( So I took him to the ER and he was 104.4 by the time he was seen. They admitted him for fever and possible line infection. The infection was confirmed 12 hours later, and his site looks worse and worse. They were saying Saturday that it had to come out. There have been complications (on the hospital's side) in getting the correct paperwork done for some foster care issues (ugh!) but it will be removed tomorrow...

Power Outtage

On Tuesday morning around 7:15, just *before* I started making H's oatmeal, and just *after* I heard the toaster oven DING that my toast was done... the power went out! H was already awake and downstairs. The power being out was baffling to her. She was amazed by everything that wasn't working. We tried to explain it. When I opened the door to the back yard to check out the temperature... "Hey! The batteries are still working out there!" And I didn't really know what to say, because the sun just... is. It was an entertaining morning! The power didn't come on until just before we left for school at 8:15am. G was convinced that someone went into her room and shut off her fan!

Hickman Problems

So here's a picture of hickman #2. I noticed some pus by the stiches and several small blisters around the hickman site, so I made calls this morning and ended up driving downtown to see a surgery doctor there. He didn't think it looked infected, though he couldn't rule that out. He thought the pus I'd seen was likely from the blisters, which were likely an alergic reaction to the tap and window bandage. *sigh* Basically he said to go home and come back if it got worse, and don't use tape around the edge of the bandage.

I really, really hope he's right and it's not infected. I wonder, though, because it looks just like it did in the early days of the infection of hickman #1. And I feel like I felt with port #2 when I would see something wrong, but take him in and everything looked fine... So we'll see what comes of this.

Locked in at Target

On Friday I brought D home from the hospital with a prescription for Tylenol with codine. When Tony got home I took off for Target to get a break from the kids and pick up the medicine. By this time D was cranky and I was feeling very badly that I hadn't just taken him with to get it sooner...

I dropped off the prescription, thinking to myself that never again would I be at the pharmacy at 5pm on a Friday... it was so busy! I was wandering through Target, killing time while waiting for the prescription to be ready when the overhead speaker came on.

"Attention Target shoppers, the national weather center has issued a Tornado warning for this area. Please move away from all doors and windows and take shelter in the back of the store in the domestics department." I looked around and everyone continued to shop, though a few whipped out their cell phones as I was doing. I texted T, who told me where the tornado had touched down, which was a ways away. I didn't want to leave without the pain meds. Since it was time, I went to the pharmacy where there was now a LONG line. The front cashiers were still working, as was the pharmacy. People were checking out and leaving, so I waited for my prescription. The announcement was made a few times over the next 10 minutes. I got a phone call from Tony and we discussed if I should stay put or drive home. At that point it seemed safe to go home. A couple minutes later a Target manager caleld over the employee's walkie talkies and told them to shut down and procede to domestics. I was next in line, and I was surprised, but they actually checked out my prescription as they locked down the pharmacy and we all went to the back of the store. I decided if Target was going to shut down I wasn't leaving. Actually, I'm not sure if I would have been allowed to leave.

It was so wierd! No one was panicky. Almost everyone was on a cell phone. I sat on the floor in a carpeted section. It was just surreal. One Target employee had a weather radio. About 15 minutes later an informal announcement came over the employees' walkie talkies. The person just stated where the tornados were and that our area was considered ok and they could go back to work. The funny thing was, there were so many employees all together that the announcement was louder than the overhead would have been. Such a wierd time! A funnel cloud had touched down not too far from the store; I didn't hear of any significant damage. I guess there were several small, short tornados across the area, with no loss of life or huge damage done (easy for me to say). Just a very wierd experience! It was nice to get back home and get hugs from the kids, venturing up from the basement with T.

Home Again with Hickman #2

(first off, a disclaimer - this is photo of hickman #1 - I'll try to update soon, but I'm not going to upset D right now by trying to take a picture of his hickman. If you look in the picture you can see a scar under his nipple on the right side of the picture. They put the new one in right by that scar)

OK, so here's a quickie version this hospital stay.

Thursday

11:30am Arrive at hospital, check in

12:00 pm get taken into presurgery area. D is weighed, measured, vitals taken, etc. We're put into an exam room to wait

12:40pm the anesthesiologist checks in for his presurgery visit

1:15pm the surgeon comes by for his presurgery visit. I have lots of questions, and he actually sits down and talks with me. None of the hickman options the other doctors and nurses have discussed with me are possible or likely to be helpful. I explain my concerns and problems we had with the placement of the last port. He listens attentively and offers to try to place it as much off to the side as he can. This sounds like a good solution to me. We also discuss infection control. Again, though others offered up a lot of ideas, when it comes down to it, there is nothing that can or will be done. The surgeon will give IV antibiotics in the OR. We'll be extra careful at home. That's frustrating... I check with both the doctor and several nurses and am assured that D will be admitted to the hospital after surgery.

1:40pm D goes back for surgery

2:40pm he's out of surgery. The surgeon checks in with me. All went well. No problems

3:40pm they call me back to see D and usher us into the recovery area for kids going home (normally we walk to his inpatient room) When I ask the nurses they tell me the doctor changed the orders. I ask to speak with the doctor. They sit me in a rocking chair and put D in my arms. He is completely out, never even opens his eyes or moves a muscle. My arm goes to sleep. It's nice to cuddle him, but he doesn't even know I'm there... there's no bed to lay him in.

However, my rocking chair is close to the nurses station, so I overhear a lot. They page the surgeon. He tells them to page the fellow (this is medical jargon for surgeon in training) who changed the orders and let her know that D can be checked in. They call the fellow, who is apparently quite irritable. Orders are changed, but not put in the computer correctly or fully and they have to call her again to let her know she needs to add on that he can't have food by mouth, and that she didn't order any IV fluids. She doesn't want to make changes (and is apparently yelling in the background) and tells them to remove the IV. The nurse takes out his IV along with removing all the tape they used to cover it and immobilize his hand... he never even flinches, and only opens his eyes once.

While I"m waiting I check out his new hickman. What??? They have placed it about 1.5 inches away from his feeding tube. He used to have a port there and it was a nightmare to keep clean, as ooze from his feeding tube was constantly getting on the bandages... So I guess the nightmare is on again. I overhear the surgeon fellow's name and try to remember it.

5:00pm we taken upstairs. Because D is too heavy for me to carry, we pull him up in a hospital wagon. When we get to the hospital room the bed hasn't arrived yet, but D doesn't care, he's still OUT. He gets checked into the new room. His bed arrives. He sleeps through being weighed and measured again.

7:00pm D wakes up and is playing a bit. He seems to be in pain so he gets some pain meds. He plays happily, sits on my lap, and starts a real feeding!

10:30pm I turn the lights out and D falls asleep

Friday

6:00am I wake up so I can catch the surgeon doing rounds and talk with him/her.

6:15am Surgery rounds - I check out her name tag (surgeons rarely introduce themselves) and see that it's our special fellow. Unfortunately I haven't spent enough time thinking about what and how I want to say the things I want to say. I show her how close the hickman is to the g-tube and she says something about how they have to go with the vein they can find, and they did their best. (At the time that shuts me up, but later I realize they didn't even try the other side... ) I think in my head that I want to ask her what the fuss was about the day before, and why she tried to send D home, and why she didn't talk to me about it ever, but I can't think of the right words and she seems to be in a hurry, so I say I don't have any more questions, and she leaves. I immediately think of many more questions, of course.

11:30am D is discharged from the hospital and we come home.

OK, so that wasn't a short version. But it was venting for me. I didn't put in nearly enough about how awesome the nurses were, and wonderful they are with D and how well they handle the doctors. We are home again, and that feels good.

Adoption Post #1

I was just reading through my past blogs. It was very cool to see

the posts about what we were going through when considering to foster again. So I decided I needed to do a little blogging about D and us wanting to adopt him.

When we accepted placement of D we'd heard that he was "adoption track". But that can mean a lot of things. I simply verified that we were in no way saying we'd be an adoptive placement for him. We weren't looking to do that. We just figured we were pretty good at the fostering thing and we should do it. I guess that wasn't God's plan.

So, we fell totally and completely in love with D. Fast. I couldn't believe it. About a month after he was with us I finally had time to read his entire file and I realized that not only was he "adoption track" but that he was already available for adoption. His parents' rights had been terminated. That's a sad and happy thing. Sad, because I don't want to think about what his biological family is missing and what they must have gone through. Happy, because terminating rights typically take a LONG time, and that part was already done for David!

However, adopting a child with significant medical needs, not to mention developmental delays is, well, a significant decision. So we decided to take our time with it. A conversation with D's social worker put us at ease in taking our time to make this decision. So we started thinking and praying. It just seemed so, I don't know, STUPID, to even consider something like this. Honestly, my heart was already sure, it was my brain that was questioning. And T played his role as the rational part of our partnership. :) So we prayed and thought.

Well, in July a few things started falling into place. We got a new home nurse who we knew would be short term. That was a little frustrating. Why even bother? But she turned out to be FABULOUS. AND she had adopted a special needs child from foster care. I learned a LOT from her in the time she was here.

Then we went away to family camp at Camp Luther. The pastor in charge of chapel was someone I hadn't met before. He introduced himself, his wife, and their grown daughter to the whole camp. I immediately knew I needed to talk with them. Their daughter has some sort of developmental delays. She lives apart from her parents now, in an assisted living facility. They adopted her when she was a little older than D. I introduced myself to the mom, and we spent pretty much every afternoon in the shade outside the camp pool talking about their decisions and ours.

We'd prayed to God for guidance, and got these wonderful helpers to answer questions and help us think about our decision.

Then in late July, since we didn't have a home health nurse, I took D with me, Z, H, and G to see a dollar movie at the theater. It was Clifford's Big Movie. D loved it! I texted T to tell him it was a hit. He could just imagine D on my lap, laughing at Clifford. He texted back and asked "Is he laughing" and I texted "Yes!" That afternoon we made the call to D's worker to start the adoption ball rolling.

We got our first set of papers in early August. We signed away permissions for our driver's license checks, child abuse registry checks, FBI checks, etc. We gave them earnings statements. I've since then gotten Z, H, and G's health forms filled out. T and I need to go in and have physicals done. D's social worker is getting a copy of our homestudy from H's adoption. She'll just have to update it since John has moved out and almost a year has gone by. That should be fairly quick. I asked her if we might be in front of the judge for the adoption by the end of the year. Probably. So, based on past experience, I'm hoping it will be done by June 2009. I'll keep you posted on our progress.

Crocheting for H's Bear

This weekend H was feeling sick. Cold/Asthma double attack that left her short of breath and feeling cuddly. (See previous post to know why we appreciate this!) I was tired of the chain reading I'd been doing, so I got out my crochet basket and worked on a baby blanket I'd started during D's last surgery. H asked if I could make a dress for her bear. That sounded infinitely more fun. Plus, she immediately spotted some yarn that I wasn't sure what in the world I would use it for. (Hand me down yarn, I love it!) Anyway, as you can see above, the dress worked up cute!

But then H started a landslide by asking "Can you make her some fancy pants?" (That's what we call shorts under dresses- we wouldn't want to be able to see the bear's bottom!). So I was able to whip those up (please note that I made a tail hole!) and that was followed quickly by some mary jane shoes and a fancy headband. H was so happy, and so was I! I love quick projects, and even more than that, I love projects that are appreciated!

Of course, G chimed in then, wanting a dress for her webkinz. She also picked some yarn I was wanting to use up - some bumpy bright green. That worked up really fast, because it's so thick. I only got the skirt made up - I need to dig through my closet and find the matching balls!

Emotional Milestones

As parents, we read about developmental milestones and watch when our babies reach them. Good parents even make notes in a baby book about when their child did certain things. Great parents do that for their younger children, too, not just their oldest! (Hey, at least I'm a good parent!)

As foster parents we recognize emotional milestones. Cuddling has been one for us. It's pretty remarkable how much I took for granted Z&G's cuddling abilities, and their willingness to fall asleep in our arms. I don't think I really savored that as much as I should have, or realized how much of a sign of trust it was. Though, I'm greatful they had no reason to ever not trust us!

These pictures of us with H were taken in May of 2007. That's about 2 1/2 YEARS after she joined our family. They were the first times she fell asleep in our arms. 31 months before she was able to really cuddle and totally relax. When I look at these pictures, I can't remember what I did to get sunburned, but I remember exactly how I felt holding her relaxed body. I remember that I cried, and I remember that I MADE T get the camera to take a picture, even though my legs were asleep.

Our foster son D, is a pretty special guy, and he's fallen asleep in our arms from the beginning, but he wasn't a real big cuddler. He would fall asleep more sprawled across our laps than cuddled in. But a couple weeks ago it happened. I picked him up out of his carseat while he was sleeping and lifted him to my shoulder. Normally he stiffens up and arches his back, looking around to see where he is, pushing out with his arms to keep from getting too close. This time he collapsed bonelessly onto my shoulder and drooled on me. :) I cried. And I stopped everything and cuddled him. Who would have thought drool was so special? Now he does it almost every time I pick him up. For a minute if he's sleepy, for just a second if he's awake. I can't describe what happens in my heart. Sometimes it still makes me cry. But I think you're allowed to do that at emotional milestones!

And Now I Take Away... your hickman

Unfortunately, D got another line infection. That's an infection in his blood that infests the tubing the IV access (aka, the hickman). So just over 2 weeks after having it put in, they had to remove his hickman. He's completing a course of antibiotics and then they'll get ready to try again. :(

Believing in your own worth

So, after reading the Twilight Saga, which I thoroughly enjoyed, our babysitter and former foster daughter, Natalee recommened I read A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray. I enjoyed it and read its sequel Rebel Angels. The books are about a group of girls who discover a realm of magic, back in the 1800s. It is a really good story, and pretty thought provoking, too. Each novel has discussion questions at the end, as well as an interview with the author. One of the questions was about whether or not society today limits girls like they were limited in the 1800s. Here is a partial quote from the author:

“These limitations are reinforced by our culture, but we, as women, also play along. And it would be good for us to stop doing that, to stop that relentless comparison and self-flagellation and start enjoying who we are and what we bring to the table. I remember reading a quote somewhere that said, ‘How much more could women accomplish if they didn’t spend so much time trying to fix themselves?’ That really made me stop and think. I think we need to stop operating as if there is something wrong with us, as if what we have to say needs to be prefaced by “Um” or “I’m sorry” or “This is probably stupid but” or some other words that communicate our lack of faith in our own power. Own it, man. It’s all you and it’s all good. And if you find out you’re wrong, well, so what? Own that, too. But I think you first have to get comfortable with the idea that when you go your own way, people may dislike you for it. And you have to be able to tolerate that. “ (From end notes in Rebel Angels by Libba Bray)

This just really stopped me in my tracks. I feel like I'm doing and have done some wonderful things in my life. Yet my thoughts are so often self-degrading and condemning. And I think it's about time I accept my good attributes with as much ferocity as I hold onto the negative ones with. Give myself a pat on the back once in a while instead of looking for faults. Thank God for the skills I've been blessed with, the opportunities I've been given, and the good I've done with God's help rather than pray for God to fix something I think is wrong with me. (Not that I can't ever want anything "fixed" but rather finding that balance...)

I have some good friends who I really look up to. I see them as examples of the self confidence I hope I'll have more of in the future. Vastly different women, but women who don't appologize for how they live their lives, or the fact that their lives don't meet some standard set forth by... whoever. I feel blessed that God has given me so many friends like this. I'm surprised it took me so long to realize why I'm so drawn to them. But thank you, God, for putting them in my life!

And Now I Give You... a hickman

So, my last post was just after D's 7/25 surgery to put in a new port. Well, by mid August he was having problems again, and this time it turned out that it had slipped out of the vein it was suppoed to be delivering medicine to. So, off to surgery again, and this time trying a different type of vein access called a hickman. I did a quick Google on hickman and found the picture above. Obviously that's not D's hairy chest. :) But it's very similar to his hickman - except he only has one tube, not the two that this guy has.

The surgery went well and his recovery was better this time than any of his previous surgeries. I'm just really hoping that we can make this one last a LONG time and he won't need another surgery... for a year???

Forbidden Fruit

D had his surgery yesterday. Previous experience had me expecting that he would be groggy and take 12-24 hours to recover. I talked with the nurses about this, and they agreed that he should be admitted as an inpatient. The surgery doctor had a different opinion, though, so we had to "wait and see". So, after he was still sleeping 2+ hours after surgery, and still needing oxygen... they admitted him and we stayed overnight. He's recovered well and we were able to come home this morning. I was glad to be at the hospital overnight.

But... that left T home with the other kids. And he was about to pull his hair out! At work he has missed a lot of time this week so that I could take D to the various "car mechanic" appointments. And this on the week following his vacation, when things are backed up. And the kids at home... sheesh! At least knowing they are driving him crazy makes me feel not so bad! It's not just me!

I guess up until this past week they have been very busy with one camp or another. Now all we have going on are swimming lessons (and, apparently, fighting). I bet this is what my sister and I did to our mom, and I really regret it now!

So, with both of us at our wits' end, it was time to pull out the big guns! I promised a trip to the pool and then threatened not to take them if they didn't shape up! :) We actually made it to the pool pretty fast, but were only there less than an hour before we heard a loud rumble of thunder and they closed the pool! This absolutely was not long enough for T to get work done at home, not long enough for me to read at the pool, and certainly not long enough to wear them out! Plus they whined at *me* about the pool closing! Like I can control the weather! And all this while making snotty comments to each other and trying to make each other cry.

So I got creative... I forbid them to play with each other. Let them know that I'd bring them each up a box of toys from the basement, but they had to play by themselves for the rest of the day. And... it worked! The house was so quiet!! And by supper time they were begging to play together! (and I didn't give in!) After supper we played some cards together and had a good goofy time - and they were less hateful to each other!

So, now we have another tool in our parenting tool box. And another great memory was made, too. H has a habit of repeating lines from movies or tv shows. The thing is, they are often mispronounced or have words switched, and they are never spoken at an appropriate time. For example... tonight we were playing go fish. When H told T to go fish and he sighed at her she snapped back "Don't look at me! I'm a chicken wing!" And laughing with her about it just makes it a household phrase... it was used several times before the night was over!

Four for Four

So today was our fourth day with a visit to the children's hospital, and the mechanic finally heard the noise. The bad news is that D will need another procedure sometime in the next week. The good news is that he's off his home IV until the procedure... so no nurse needed. Much more of a normal kid scenario.

It never ceases to amaze me how surprised the doctors seem when parents are right. In this case I wish I'd been wrong... but at least we know what's going on now and they are making a plan to fix it. In the mean time I'll enjoy my tube free kiddo! :)

It's like taking your car to the mechanic

I can remember a time shortly after T and I were married when my car was having problems. I described to T what was going on. We even traded cars for several days. But the problem never happened when he was in the car. And soon it felt like *I* was the one with the problem. And now I'm feeling like that with D!!!

On Sunday I took him to the ER with a problem with his IV port. They saw the problem there, but needed us to come back Monday for an x-ray exam. When we got to x-ray the next day... you got it, everything was fine. So they sent us on our merry way. And today, Tuesday, problems again. 2:10pm I called the doctor's office. Ugh. D's nurse wasn't in. Talked to a sub. She wants us downtown asap. No way can I take the other 3 kids downtown. So I found a sitter, took all three kids to pick her up while D's nurse got him ready to go. Brought the sitter home (I love N so much!) Got D loaded up and headed downtown. I was there by 4pm - including the 45 minute drive. I called them on the way and the nurse was disappointed at how long it was taking me. Again. Ugh. I felt like I'd run a marathon, but "the doctor really wanted you here by 3:30". I bit my tongue, but I really wanted to let her know what *I* really wanted.

Among other things, I really wanted them to do the x-ray test the minute I got there. Instead we chilled in the waiting room and were finally taken back, weighed, measured, etc and then the vascular access team (IV/port experts) were called to take a look. Wow! The problem really was there, just like I said. But, oh no, radiology is closed. So I'll need to come back tomorrow so they can do the x-ray exam again! I'm betting he'll be fine again tomorrow...

At least I have enough notice to pack a bag with snacks and a good book to read while I wait. Because if there's anything else I'm sure of, it's that they'll have me rush into the hospital and then have me wait. On the bright side, if I was the one at home with the other kids my book would be on the shelf... :)

Catching up

Just a quick catch up post...

1. Tony started a blog. I like it. Link on the sidebar.
2. New home health nurse. I love her. She'll be leaving soon, but she's training in her own replacement. I think we may even be friends after she leaves. :) She's been a foster and adoptive parent to a kiddo with special needs.
3. Had a GREAT week at Camp Luther!!!
4. Met a couple at camp with their adult daughter with special needs. Had great talks with them and hope to stay in touch.
5. Feeling like God is sending us all the support we need to make a big decision...
6. Z, H, and G are taking swim lessons this week and next.
7. D has stayed out of the hospital so far this month... with the exception of an ER visit last night... doing fine today. False alarm, I hope.
8. Been a while since we talked with or seen J (he moved out last month... on good terms) I miss him.
9. Just three weeks until we go to Wisconsin to visit my family! Just five weeks until school starts!!!!
10. I read the Twilight books by Stephenie Meyer. I have a new obsession!
11. Did I mention I love Camp Luther??? We had a blast! (with very few exceptions...)

I'll try to post more soon.

No Nurse

So, after D came home from the hospital I had some issues with our home health nurse and finally decided I was done worrying about whether the care she was giving him was good enough. Now we have no nurse.

Our new nurse will start next Thursday. This will give me plenty of time with D, and I'm happy about that. I would guess that by the time she starts I'll be desperate to have her here. But right now I'm really enjoying being able to take care of D all the time! And hoping that I'll have a better relationship with our new nurse.

Back in the Hospital again

Well, in my last post I wrote about how I knew I needed to leave D with his first fostermom. I really did need to. He ended up in the hospital. Within 24 hours of her picking him up, he had a fever. By Sunday afternoon she was taking him to the ER. He was admitted with another line/port/blood infection. :( After much consideration, T and I decided that we needed to stay and finish out our vacation with his family. (OK, T was the one with the clear head, and said it was the only decision we could make, and he was right. I'm glad he was there to make it, though, because it was tough.) Still, we knew D's first foster family would take good care of him, and they did. It was especially nice to know they were with him, because it sounded like a pretty chaotic night in the ER and admission. And chaotic is NOT what you want when your kiddo is in the hospital!

Anyway, we're back at home, with Z staying with T's parents as planned. J moved out into his apartment yesterday, and at the same time G and H spiked fevers and are definitely sick! This is more excitement than I need! T and I are back to splitting time between the hospital and home. Our volunteer grandmas from church are back on the job giving us breaks at the hospital.

Thankfully, D is responding well to medicine and is back to his normal self. They got us a mat to put on the hospital room floor and he loves to roll around on it! He's even rolling a new way since he was admitted! (Before he only rolled to his left - last night he rolled to his right! That's our boy!) Yesterday there was a moment that can only happen in a teaching hospital, I think. There was a doctor in by herself to do an evaluation and a nursing teacher and 2 nursing students changing D's IV meds when another team (one senior doctore and two juniors) came in. The doctors were talking back and forth and with me, and D was just flirting like crazy with one of the nursing students - laughing, grinning, and kicking the bed hard enough to make himself bounce! He's a fun kid!

So, we're back to our inpatient/busy lifestyle, and hoping it will end soon!

Today is the day

Today D's first foster mom is coming to pick him up so they can take care of him while we are out of town visitting T's family in Indiana. I am so sad that we need to do this. I know they will take good care of him, and I know he's not healthy enough to travel, but I wish he could come with us. It will be hard to say goodbye. I'm stressed out about it - ok some moments and sad others. I'm trying to put my stress energy into doing a good job of packing for him, so he'll have everything he needs. So far I have 3 boxes of medical supplies, 1 of diapers and toys, a duffle bag of clothes, and a small bag of paperwork. I need to go finish. I just had to acknowledge somewhere that I am sad about this. :(

Being Assertive

So, this will be another rant about dealing with our home health nurse. Please feel free to skip this if you've heard enough on this topic!

So, our nurse cares about David and plays with him, and he is attached to her, but she is driving me crazy. I have to be assertive with her. I learned about being assertive a few years ago when I took a leadership course at our church. I thought assertive was a bad word. I've always been a pretty passive, people pleasing person. But in dealing with our nurse, C, I have to be assertive. She's told me from the beginning that she wants me to talk to her whenever I have a complaint or concern. I just never thought I'd have so many!

And I struggle so much with deciding what is worth speaking up about. In her first week here, C told me she would bring me some grocery bags from her home so we could use them for garbage bag liners. I told her not to bring them, because we had plenty here. I showed her the big box full of them waiting to be used. She told me she had a lot at home, and she'd bring them so we could use them. I told her if she wanted to bring what she would use in a day she could, but I didn't need anything else in my house. (Which is already full of clutter.) And now she's leaving bags here. She puts them in my box of bags. It drives me crazy. Why didn't I just say NO BAGS AT ALL? But even more importantly... why do I let this bother me? I need to just let it go.

Then there is her leaving time. 5pm. Not hard. Yet it creeps earlier and earlier. She does her status turnover with me and asks - OK, can I go? Now, I know her time to leave is 5pm. She knows her time to leave is 5pm... why even ask? And why do I feel so helpless when she asks at 4:56? It shouldn't be so hard to say "Please stay until 5pm." But why should I have to say it? She knows it, she should just do it. This kind of stuff is driving me crazy.

I don't feel like I should have to ask her to not leave a trash bag on the floor, or put a new sheet on the crib when she takes one off, or not handle blood an urine on the carpet. Yet I've spoken to her about all of these things. And every time I get anxious before and during and after. Will I say it right? Will I be rude? Will she understand me? Am I being clear enough? And get angry, before during and after that I even have to do it.

So, I am VERY glad I had some practice with and understanding about being assertive before C came to our house. I just wish I wasn't using it so much and was more comfortable when I did!

10 Years

On Friday, T and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary! Because we only have daytime care for D, T took the day off work and we found a friend for G to stay with. Once we got the kids off to school we had the whole day to ourselves! We drove over to the town we lived in when we got married. We cruised by our first apartment and our first home. We ate a favorite restaurant and walked on the trail we used to walk/bike/roller blade. It was a very fun day!

Ten years ago I couldn't have begun to imagine where we are now. I'm so excited to see what God does with us in the next 10 years! J will be 19, Z 18, H 17, and G 15 in ten years. Yikes!

The top picture is from 2000 (we were married in 1998, but didn't go digital until later) at Z's baptism. The bottom picture is one we snapped ourselves last month.

Kid Kart and Thoughts

This is a Kid Kart. It's a pediatric wheelchair/stroller. Several weeks ago D had an appointment at a clinic and they reccommended that he get one of these to help him sit up straight, since he is unable to support himself. There are a lot of benefits to this chair, but the state insurance won't cover it, because they consider it a stroller. It's more than a stroller, because D ends up slouched in a ball when he's in our stroller, despite all the rolled up blankets we put around him to try to hold him in place.

The Kid Kart costs around $2,000 without any "options" and about $5,000 fully loaded. But D's foster care advocates called around and found a used one for $20! Incredible! So now D has his very own Kid Kart. And I think he likes it! He certainly liked being in the middle of everything last night while he was in it. We haven't gone for a walk around the block, but I know he'll love that! He'll be able to see much more than when he's packed in his stroller.

But T and I agree, it's pretty sobering. I mean, we know D has some pretty special needs. He's almost 2 years old, but functions physically at the level of a 4 month old. He looks physically different from a 2 year old or a 4 month old. But when we see him in the chair it just screams "I'm disabled!"

It's proabably a good thing he enjoyed it so much last night, or I'd be thinking of excuses not to use it. As it is, I think it's very good for him. So I'll have to swallow big and let go of pretending everything is "normal". And that's ok. I just didn't think it would bother me like this!

Time Flies By! Summer is Coming!

Even though the weather has remained (thankfully!) cool for the season, summer is here! The kids are down to just 4 days of school and my free time is sliding away. But I guess I'm acutally looking forward to this summer, even without the free time to myself I've been enjoying!

Lesson Learned, Part II

So, I have just shown the ER doctor my annoyance, and (here comes the lesson part) he calmly says "I know the wait is long. We had a car accident come in with a lot of kids involved this afternoon, and we've been running behind since then."

"oh."

*sigh* It is hard to be patient. Even when you've got a good book. But, thankfully, we were only there for a fever. And we wouldn't have been there if we had any other option. I won't even go into the people I saw in the waiting room who I couldn't imagine why they were there! But there I go judging again, and I should have learned my lesson by now!

But I'll finish my story. The doctor ordered lab work. I think by now I could almost just stop at the lab before I hit the ER next time and ask for the lab work myself (if they'd let me!). I think this would be a great solution! Heck, they would probably have the lab work done *before* I saw the ER doc! :)

So the drew blood and ordered chest x-rays. Those break my heart. D just started crying when I picked him up out of his stroller in the x-ray room. I think he knew where he was and what they were going to do - they hang him by his arms to take a chest x-ray! They are good and they are very quick, but... poor D!

We went back to our exam room and waited. The boss of all ER doctors came in and chatted for a few minutes with me. Then young doctor came in a while later. And when I was JUST about done with my book, young doctor came in and told me we'd be admitted. They had some more lab work to draw, and they wanted a urine sample, so the nurse would cath D and we'd go up to our room. ("cath" being "insert a catheter into his penis" to draw out urine)

"I don't want you to cath him. They can tape a bag on - we use these all the time at home."

"Yes, but sometimes with the bag you don't get a clean sample."

"I understand. I don't want him cathed."

"But if the sample isn't clean, it might come back as a false positive."

"I understand. I don't want him cathed. We can tape a bag on him."

"OK" and he left.

To explain my point of view, I've had this conversation before with other doctors. I already knew he was going to be admitted. I figured they could bag him. If the urine culture was positive for infection, but they suspected contamination, the could cath him the next day for a "clean" sample. He'd be in the hospital already anyway.

So a couple minutes later Mr. RN comes in with a cath kit in his hand. I spoke up right away. "I don't want him cathed. We can tape a bag on to get the urine sample." "Alright" and he sets the cath kit down, and I might be mistaken, but he looks relieved. I go on to explain "I did tell the doctor I didn't want him cathed." Eye contact. "He didn't pass that on to us. I'm glad you spoke up. The bag will be fine." And everything in Mr. RN and Ms. RN's body language is telling me that they are very glad I am speaking up for D.

I'm frustrated that I have to do it more than once. I wish I was fast enough with words to have been able to say the following to young doctor:

"I want you to pretend that you are my son laying in that stroller. And think about how you would feel, not being able to talk, or speak for yourself. Wouldn't you wish that your mom would speak up for you?" That's not even eloquent enough. *sigh* I am not a very assertive person, and it's such an adrenaline rush (and not in a good way) to speak up against an "authority" but I'm so glad I can do that for D. And I'm getting better at it.

So, they bagged him and we went upstairs to D's new room. We've been there enough times that we know the nurses. If I don't recognize them, they tell me they've taken care of D when he was in his previous foster home!

We settled into the room at 2am. And I thought to myself that this was not actually my longest ER-to-admit stretch. Whew. Oh, and I finished the last 10 pages of my book the next morning. :)

Lesson Learned

So, D is back in the hospital, and I continue learning lessons. This one is one I've read about before. I know you're always supposed to consider someone else's point of view, yadda, yadda, yadda. Here's my reminder lesson...

D spiked a fever and off to the ER we went. He and I arrived at 7pm. He was sleeping. At about 7:30 pm we were triaged... he was weighed and measured, given a gown, and we were sent back out to the waiting room. Savy ER customer that I am, I asked the triage nurse how long the average wait was. "2 hours. But the good news is that you're 21 minutes into it." Okaaay.

I can't complain too much, really. I just had me and sleeping D to deal with. I'd thought ahead and brought a new book from the library, so I was reading while I waited patiently. (ha-ha! Patiently! I did that on purpose!)

So at around 9pm a nurse called out several names, and one of them was D's! I weaved his stroller past the teen in the wheelchair and the wagon with the toddler and all the people. When I got up to the nurse I overheard this enlightening coversation between the desk nurse and the nurse who had called us back.

"Let me see those names. Where did you get these charts?"
"Off the pile over there"
"No! You have to pull them off the pile in the back! Those people have been waiting over 3 hours. These people have only been waiting..." (she consults the computer) "11 and 21 minutes!" (I beg to differ! I'm at 60 minutes now...)

Still, I remain calm as she sends us back to our seats. After a long look at the path back to my original seat, I accept an offer for a seat on the outside edge of the ER waiting room and open my book again. It's getting good!

About a half hour later, D's name is called again, and I follow a nurse back to the ER rooms. "A docotr with be with you as soon as possible." That doesn't sound too promising. So I open my book and D sleeps on. About 20 minutes after that, a nurse (as I can tell by his big RN badge) comes in and presses a stethoscope to D's chest. "Oh, does he have a port?" "Yes" "They didn't tell me that." And he walks out! Okaaay. I'm not sure what to make of that. I change a wet diaper and get back to reading. Another 20 minutes goes by and Mr. nurse comes in with Ms. nurse. It's apparent that he is in training of some sort. The do a quick eval and say a doctor should be in sometime. Hey! I'm halfway through my book! And it IS good!

At about 10:30pm a youngish looking doctor comes in and identifies himself. I think he says he's a resident. Anyway, I recognize his title as "low man on the totem pole". So he asks for D's history. I'm telling him about it, and I mention that I think he's "a little dehydrated" and then clarify. "Well, dehydrated probably isn't the right word. He's had wet diapers today, and he's drooling, but he's not had any bowel movements, and his diapers have been much lighter." He asks how many wet diapers D has had today (5) and tells me that 2 is enough, and proceeds to explain to me what dehydration is, and what it's symptoms are in a tone that makes it clear that D is not dehydrated. That annoys me! I'm quite familiar with the symptoms of dehydration, having been through it with more than one child, and with D himself just a month ago! And I already said dehydrated wasn't the right word! So I spoke up in a voice that I'm sure showed my annoyance, "I just telling you, as a mom, that his diapers are not as heavy as they normally are. He is not peeing as much as normal."

to be continued...

A Birthday Pan-Cake!

H turned 7!!! Here she is with her birthday pan-cake. Pancakes are her favorite food, so we agreed to have them for her birthday supper. When we thought of all the sugar involved in a pancake supper AND a birthday cake, we were a little unsure. Then we thought of a birthday cake made up of a stack of pancakes! H loved it, and no one mentioned missing a "cake". So we called the kids to supper and served up this stack of cakes, with the top one decorate with frosting and a "7" candle. H got the top pancake of course!!! And T outdid himself with the pancakes - each as big as a big plate! Thank goodness he has the patience for that!!!

H can be a hard kid to buy for. She's not really a dolls or toys kind of kid... She was asking for a pet, but we weren't really interested in that option. So we started talking about flowers. My mom gave us some help in selecting a hardy variety! So H got some planters, soil, flowers, seeds, a watering can, and a trowel and rake. She is very, very excited about it all. She can take care of them, water them, pick them, whatever she wants, because they are HERS. :) Whew! Another birthday gift nailed!

The Dandylion Story

Spring is here! And along with Spring we get flowers! I love our tulips and daffodils, but they are nothing like our neighbors'! Several homes on our street are bursting with daffodils, tulips, crocuses and other flowers I can't identify. However, there is one flower where we have them beat! Nobody, and I mean nobody, on the street has the collection of dandylions that we do! :)

So, T had a great idea. He decided he would get the kids to pick our dandylions before they went to seed. He told me he was going to pay them a penny for each dandylion. He figured that was cheaper then buying a chemical, AND it would keep them busy for a while. At the last minute he decided on a nickle for each dandylion. You can imagine the great excitement!

I provided some old plastic containers and the picking began. T was quick to make up a rule that if you pushed somone out of the way to get a dandylion, then they got all your dandylions. That helped keep things running smoothly.
Z was our most prolific picker - he picked over 400 dandylions!!!!!!

H and G each had over 100.
J even joined in! (When you're broke, you're broke!) Above is a picture of them with all their picking, before they went in the trash.

But, alas, the dandylion story is not over. I guess there is something T and I didn't realize about dandylions... Something that had me laughing my head off when we went outside today...

I don't know. Maybe picking a dandylion is like dead-heading any other flower... it promotes growth of more blossoms! Or maybe there just were that many waiting to bloom. In any case, despite all efforts to the opposite, we're still the Dandylion kings!