Being Assertive

So, this will be another rant about dealing with our home health nurse. Please feel free to skip this if you've heard enough on this topic!

So, our nurse cares about David and plays with him, and he is attached to her, but she is driving me crazy. I have to be assertive with her. I learned about being assertive a few years ago when I took a leadership course at our church. I thought assertive was a bad word. I've always been a pretty passive, people pleasing person. But in dealing with our nurse, C, I have to be assertive. She's told me from the beginning that she wants me to talk to her whenever I have a complaint or concern. I just never thought I'd have so many!

And I struggle so much with deciding what is worth speaking up about. In her first week here, C told me she would bring me some grocery bags from her home so we could use them for garbage bag liners. I told her not to bring them, because we had plenty here. I showed her the big box full of them waiting to be used. She told me she had a lot at home, and she'd bring them so we could use them. I told her if she wanted to bring what she would use in a day she could, but I didn't need anything else in my house. (Which is already full of clutter.) And now she's leaving bags here. She puts them in my box of bags. It drives me crazy. Why didn't I just say NO BAGS AT ALL? But even more importantly... why do I let this bother me? I need to just let it go.

Then there is her leaving time. 5pm. Not hard. Yet it creeps earlier and earlier. She does her status turnover with me and asks - OK, can I go? Now, I know her time to leave is 5pm. She knows her time to leave is 5pm... why even ask? And why do I feel so helpless when she asks at 4:56? It shouldn't be so hard to say "Please stay until 5pm." But why should I have to say it? She knows it, she should just do it. This kind of stuff is driving me crazy.

I don't feel like I should have to ask her to not leave a trash bag on the floor, or put a new sheet on the crib when she takes one off, or not handle blood an urine on the carpet. Yet I've spoken to her about all of these things. And every time I get anxious before and during and after. Will I say it right? Will I be rude? Will she understand me? Am I being clear enough? And get angry, before during and after that I even have to do it.

So, I am VERY glad I had some practice with and understanding about being assertive before C came to our house. I just wish I wasn't using it so much and was more comfortable when I did!