Back in the Hospital again

Well, in my last post I wrote about how I knew I needed to leave D with his first fostermom. I really did need to. He ended up in the hospital. Within 24 hours of her picking him up, he had a fever. By Sunday afternoon she was taking him to the ER. He was admitted with another line/port/blood infection. :( After much consideration, T and I decided that we needed to stay and finish out our vacation with his family. (OK, T was the one with the clear head, and said it was the only decision we could make, and he was right. I'm glad he was there to make it, though, because it was tough.) Still, we knew D's first foster family would take good care of him, and they did. It was especially nice to know they were with him, because it sounded like a pretty chaotic night in the ER and admission. And chaotic is NOT what you want when your kiddo is in the hospital!

Anyway, we're back at home, with Z staying with T's parents as planned. J moved out into his apartment yesterday, and at the same time G and H spiked fevers and are definitely sick! This is more excitement than I need! T and I are back to splitting time between the hospital and home. Our volunteer grandmas from church are back on the job giving us breaks at the hospital.

Thankfully, D is responding well to medicine and is back to his normal self. They got us a mat to put on the hospital room floor and he loves to roll around on it! He's even rolling a new way since he was admitted! (Before he only rolled to his left - last night he rolled to his right! That's our boy!) Yesterday there was a moment that can only happen in a teaching hospital, I think. There was a doctor in by herself to do an evaluation and a nursing teacher and 2 nursing students changing D's IV meds when another team (one senior doctore and two juniors) came in. The doctors were talking back and forth and with me, and D was just flirting like crazy with one of the nursing students - laughing, grinning, and kicking the bed hard enough to make himself bounce! He's a fun kid!

So, we're back to our inpatient/busy lifestyle, and hoping it will end soon!

Today is the day

Today D's first foster mom is coming to pick him up so they can take care of him while we are out of town visitting T's family in Indiana. I am so sad that we need to do this. I know they will take good care of him, and I know he's not healthy enough to travel, but I wish he could come with us. It will be hard to say goodbye. I'm stressed out about it - ok some moments and sad others. I'm trying to put my stress energy into doing a good job of packing for him, so he'll have everything he needs. So far I have 3 boxes of medical supplies, 1 of diapers and toys, a duffle bag of clothes, and a small bag of paperwork. I need to go finish. I just had to acknowledge somewhere that I am sad about this. :(

Being Assertive

So, this will be another rant about dealing with our home health nurse. Please feel free to skip this if you've heard enough on this topic!

So, our nurse cares about David and plays with him, and he is attached to her, but she is driving me crazy. I have to be assertive with her. I learned about being assertive a few years ago when I took a leadership course at our church. I thought assertive was a bad word. I've always been a pretty passive, people pleasing person. But in dealing with our nurse, C, I have to be assertive. She's told me from the beginning that she wants me to talk to her whenever I have a complaint or concern. I just never thought I'd have so many!

And I struggle so much with deciding what is worth speaking up about. In her first week here, C told me she would bring me some grocery bags from her home so we could use them for garbage bag liners. I told her not to bring them, because we had plenty here. I showed her the big box full of them waiting to be used. She told me she had a lot at home, and she'd bring them so we could use them. I told her if she wanted to bring what she would use in a day she could, but I didn't need anything else in my house. (Which is already full of clutter.) And now she's leaving bags here. She puts them in my box of bags. It drives me crazy. Why didn't I just say NO BAGS AT ALL? But even more importantly... why do I let this bother me? I need to just let it go.

Then there is her leaving time. 5pm. Not hard. Yet it creeps earlier and earlier. She does her status turnover with me and asks - OK, can I go? Now, I know her time to leave is 5pm. She knows her time to leave is 5pm... why even ask? And why do I feel so helpless when she asks at 4:56? It shouldn't be so hard to say "Please stay until 5pm." But why should I have to say it? She knows it, she should just do it. This kind of stuff is driving me crazy.

I don't feel like I should have to ask her to not leave a trash bag on the floor, or put a new sheet on the crib when she takes one off, or not handle blood an urine on the carpet. Yet I've spoken to her about all of these things. And every time I get anxious before and during and after. Will I say it right? Will I be rude? Will she understand me? Am I being clear enough? And get angry, before during and after that I even have to do it.

So, I am VERY glad I had some practice with and understanding about being assertive before C came to our house. I just wish I wasn't using it so much and was more comfortable when I did!