David's Backstory and Medical

I'm trying to combine a couple blogs into one, so I'm reposting some old information.  Here is the story of how we came to have David in our family, written right after his adoption in August 2009.

For those of you who don't already know, here is a quick (ok, maybe not so quick) version of David's story.

In February of 2008 we were a few months past Hassani's adoption. Tony and I both found that we were thinking of fostering again, but we wondered if we were rushing things and if it would be right for our family. We decided to spend a week in prayer about it. Should we start fostering again or wait a while? At the end of the week we felt that fostering again was the right decision to make, so we called our social worker and let her know we were opening our home again.

Although we didn't know it, another foster family had also spent a lot of time in prayer, and at about the same time. On the same day we called our social worker, they called theirs. They had been taking care of David. They loved him very much, but their house in rural Kansas was too far away from the doctors and hospital that David was needing more and more of. They had decided to see if a home closer to the hospital could be found for David, who was back in the hospital again.

On Wednesday, February 14, 2008 we heard about David and talked with his social worker. Because David's medical care was pretty involved, she wanted us to meet with one of his doctors at the hospital. Tony's parents were in town visiting us and were happy to stay with Zeke, Hassani, and Gladys while we went that evening. The social worker and the doctor met us up in David's room. We stayed for a while and learned about David, held him, asked questions, tried to think of more. We left that night telling the social worker we'd get back to her in the morning so we could think it through first. I think she knew before we left the hospital. We decided in the car on the way home and called her the next day. We wanted to take care of David. On Friday, with Tony's parents still in town, I moved in to the hospital with David and started learning how to take care of him.

David was 20 months old, though he was functioning on about a 6 month old level. He had a lot of medical issues as well. The hospital staff was wonderful. David's first foster family was incredible, spending a lot of time with us so that we knew everything we possibly could about David. After a few days in the hospital we were able to bring him home and settle in.

Later, we realized that David needed an adoptive family, and after much prayer we decided that we wanted him as part of our family forever and we started the adoption process. On August 26, 2009 David's adoption into our family was complete. He's a Bockelman now. :)

Over the past year and half with David we've seen him deal with even more medical issues, but come out healthier over all. He's now 3 years old and operating on a 10 month old level. We don't know what the future holds, but we can see it will be a joy filled journey. People have told us how lucky David is to have us. We tell them how lucky *we* are to have David!

Adoption Pending!

We have an adoption date! On August 26 we will finish our year long trek toward adoption - 18 months after David entered our home, he'll become David Bockelman! Hooray! The pictures are from his first days here and very recently - how far he's come!

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We've had a lot of people say that he's lucky to have us, and we truly feel like we are lucky to have him. We're looking forward to finalizing D's adoption!

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In other news, a busy summer is over and school is looming in less than two weeks! Z will be in 4th grade, H in 3rd, G in 1st, and D will be finished with in home therapy services and going to half day preschool. I'm going to try to post more often for my mom, who doesn't want to join facebook. Love you mom!

Adoption News - moving right along

Good news on the Adoption front. We meet on Thursday to discuss our adoption subsidy and sign an Adoption Placement Agreement. The subsidy is getting the paperwork done to insure that David will continue to get state medical insurance even after our adoption and figuring a monthly stipend. The Adoption Placement Agreement is the paper we sign to take David out of foster care and place him into our home as an adoptive placement. Most importantly, this is really the last step before court. So I'm guessing we'll have an adoption date soon. This is one more huge step forward! Hooray!

It's Finished!!!!

Remember when I started this one? (It was back in January - you can see progress pictures in January and February 2008.) Well, I'm finally declaring it truly done. I obviously had some problems counting stitches and it was starting to ruffle a bit. I didn't really see my pattern through to the end, but I may try it again someday in a more friendly yarn. :) I like the way it turned out, though!

Quick adoption update - the social worker visited for our home study update. She's hoping to have that report turned in so that they can hold a "best interests" meeting before the end of year. This is where a team of people look at our home study and David's file and decide if they think we are the best adoptive family for David. We are one more step closer!!

Craft update - I have material to make the canopies for the girls' doll beds. I have the beads to string on Gladys'. I just have to want to sit down and do it! Random crochet projects keep calling my name!

Masterwork: The Snowman Hat and Adoption Update

I think this is my masterwork to date. :) I made a winter hat for David that looks like... a snowman wearing a hat. He wore it on the walk to school on Monday and to and from Jazzercise and got tons of attention. It turned out really well!

Also, just a quick adoption update... we turned in physicals for T and I and for Z, H, and G. T and I were fingerprinted and already got clearance for that. Now the next steps are:

• social worker updates homestudy we used for H's adoption last year
• subsidy negotiation with the state
• social worker submits our adoption packet to the state
• the state approves the adoption
• a court date is set
• adoption in court

I'm guessing we'll be done by June. The stuff that's left isn't hard at all. It could probably be done in a week per step (except for scheduling the court date, that can take a couple months). However, everyone involved is very busy, so it wouldn't surprise me if it stretches out to June. I'll keep you posted.

Adoption Post #1

I was just reading through my past blogs. It was very cool to see

the posts about what we were going through when considering to foster again. So I decided I needed to do a little blogging about D and us wanting to adopt him.

When we accepted placement of D we'd heard that he was "adoption track". But that can mean a lot of things. I simply verified that we were in no way saying we'd be an adoptive placement for him. We weren't looking to do that. We just figured we were pretty good at the fostering thing and we should do it. I guess that wasn't God's plan.

So, we fell totally and completely in love with D. Fast. I couldn't believe it. About a month after he was with us I finally had time to read his entire file and I realized that not only was he "adoption track" but that he was already available for adoption. His parents' rights had been terminated. That's a sad and happy thing. Sad, because I don't want to think about what his biological family is missing and what they must have gone through. Happy, because terminating rights typically take a LONG time, and that part was already done for David!

However, adopting a child with significant medical needs, not to mention developmental delays is, well, a significant decision. So we decided to take our time with it. A conversation with D's social worker put us at ease in taking our time to make this decision. So we started thinking and praying. It just seemed so, I don't know, STUPID, to even consider something like this. Honestly, my heart was already sure, it was my brain that was questioning. And T played his role as the rational part of our partnership. :) So we prayed and thought.

Well, in July a few things started falling into place. We got a new home nurse who we knew would be short term. That was a little frustrating. Why even bother? But she turned out to be FABULOUS. AND she had adopted a special needs child from foster care. I learned a LOT from her in the time she was here.

Then we went away to family camp at Camp Luther. The pastor in charge of chapel was someone I hadn't met before. He introduced himself, his wife, and their grown daughter to the whole camp. I immediately knew I needed to talk with them. Their daughter has some sort of developmental delays. She lives apart from her parents now, in an assisted living facility. They adopted her when she was a little older than D. I introduced myself to the mom, and we spent pretty much every afternoon in the shade outside the camp pool talking about their decisions and ours.

We'd prayed to God for guidance, and got these wonderful helpers to answer questions and help us think about our decision.

Then in late July, since we didn't have a home health nurse, I took D with me, Z, H, and G to see a dollar movie at the theater. It was Clifford's Big Movie. D loved it! I texted T to tell him it was a hit. He could just imagine D on my lap, laughing at Clifford. He texted back and asked "Is he laughing" and I texted "Yes!" That afternoon we made the call to D's worker to start the adoption ball rolling.

We got our first set of papers in early August. We signed away permissions for our driver's license checks, child abuse registry checks, FBI checks, etc. We gave them earnings statements. I've since then gotten Z, H, and G's health forms filled out. T and I need to go in and have physicals done. D's social worker is getting a copy of our homestudy from H's adoption. She'll just have to update it since John has moved out and almost a year has gone by. That should be fairly quick. I asked her if we might be in front of the judge for the adoption by the end of the year. Probably. So, based on past experience, I'm hoping it will be done by June 2009. I'll keep you posted on our progress.

Catching up

Just a quick catch up post...

1. Tony started a blog. I like it. Link on the sidebar.
2. New home health nurse. I love her. She'll be leaving soon, but she's training in her own replacement. I think we may even be friends after she leaves. :) She's been a foster and adoptive parent to a kiddo with special needs.
3. Had a GREAT week at Camp Luther!!!
4. Met a couple at camp with their adult daughter with special needs. Had great talks with them and hope to stay in touch.
5. Feeling like God is sending us all the support we need to make a big decision...
6. Z, H, and G are taking swim lessons this week and next.
7. D has stayed out of the hospital so far this month... with the exception of an ER visit last night... doing fine today. False alarm, I hope.
8. Been a while since we talked with or seen J (he moved out last month... on good terms) I miss him.
9. Just three weeks until we go to Wisconsin to visit my family! Just five weeks until school starts!!!!
10. I read the Twilight books by Stephenie Meyer. I have a new obsession!
11. Did I mention I love Camp Luther??? We had a blast! (with very few exceptions...)

I'll try to post more soon.

I'm Back! We're Adopted!

Wow! This past month has just flown by! We prepared for and celebrated G's 5th birthday. Then it was getting ready for H's adoption with announcements and party planning. Then it was here. We really have been busy, but it all went very well!

You can see this picture of us with the judge on H's adoption day. The judge was wonderful, along with the whole court. They all came in on their own time on a Saturday to do 12 adoptions in our county! You can see all of us with the judge, plus T's parents, who came in for the occaision and stayed until Thanksgiving.

H was very excited. She had some pretty rough days as adoption approached, and regressed back in some behaviors (yikes!!!) Thankfully we had our therapist telling us it was all normal and to be expected, so we didn't freak out. And by the time adoption day came, she'd settled down quite a bit. I figure once Thanksgiving vacation is past and we settle into more normal times we'll see how she's doing.

*I* had a last minute crisis when I realized I'd handled everything but had forgotten an adoption day gift for H! Because of J's adoption she knew to expect something. So, at the last minute I put together the blanket H and I are holding. It's silky on one side and soft and shaggy on the other. A local monogram shop added her new name and adoption date. It was very fun to do.